Life After?

For the past couple of days, I've been pondering what happens on Earth after we pass. I don't know why, maybe it's too much of Alesana's The Emptiness. Maybe too much Call of Duty or Dante's Inferno? Who knows. Anyway. I'm not suicidal, I just wonder what happens here when we die. I mean, what kind of funeral would I have? Who would go? When I reach the Pearly Gates, will I be able to enter? If I do, am I able to look down upon my friends and family? I'm not afraid to die, I just feel like life is Act One. What happens after is Act Two. Act One is like the exposition of the story, Act Two is where things get interesting. My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way believes that in the hour of our death, our strongest memory comes back to us to help/carry/lead us on to the other side. If so, what would mine be? I'm too young at this point to know really. I think I want to die fast, just because I don't have a high pain tolerance, but again, I'm not afraid to die.

When someone we love passes, we are often conflicted. When my grandmother died after a ten year battle with cancer last year, I was angry, sad, lonely, but most of all relieved. Why relieved? I think because I knew she wasn't suffering anymore. But even to this day, I still think about her. The wake. The funeral. And I feel empty. That part of me is missing and I know I can't get it back. But I'm okay with that because I know The depths of a mans soul can not be measured in a manor of meters and fathoms; but rather, it is in my opinion, only quantified by his proximity to Heaven and Hell. I will see her someday again, in the clouds. I was asked what I would do if I found out I was going to die soon. This stopped me in my tracks because I never really thought about it. I guess I would do everything I've wanted to do and enjoy every last minute. This seems really depressing, but I think that slowly my mind is de-cluttering as I write this.

I'm going to leave you with two tracks

1- The Thespian- Alesana

2- Famous Last Words- My Chemical Romance

With Peace and Love,

Sam