My Side of the Story,

Hey everybody. I figured I'd make my return in an explosive fashion. I was in a ton of trouble this week, and it's finally starting to blow over. I'm making my official statement here, and expressing how I feel about it after the fact.

About two weeks ago, I was asked to interview some guys that were entering my school's male beauty pageant. So I did. And in between two of the interviews, made my own interview. The kids helping me film these kids asked me questions and I would answer them. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have and didn't mean. I finished filming the students and put a nice little video together for the pageant last Thursday.

Fast forward past my birthday on Sunday to Tuesday afternoon.

I'm sitting in Health and the girls who helped me film the interviews came up to me and said I needed to leave and talk to Mr. Hemery. So I left and went to talk to him. He told me that he and Mrs. Pontikos (a councilor) had seen my interview. Since Mrs. Pontikos was there, his hands were tied and he had to tell the administration. They were calling what happened "Hate Speak" and there were serious consequences for that. However, Mr. Hemery had convinced the administration to let him take care of it. So instead of getting suspended and more, we were getting kicked out of Video Club (which I am the president of) and our Broadcasting Independent Study. I was devastated.

I figured the best thing to do was to talk to the principal that Hemery had talked to. I sat down with him and apologized. What did I get in return?
" I have to be honest, I believe apologies are hollow and forced. Your actions speak louder than your words. Look at your past actions."

I cannot even believe this was happening. He gave me some big long speech and I ended up leaving in worse condition than when I entered. The next day (Wednesday) I went and talked to everybody else who was involved. My councilor, Mrs. Pontikos, and Mr. Hemery. Out of our entire teaching staff at the high school, I believe I hold them to the highest honor, because I have a good relationship with all of them. Mrs. Smith and Hemery were easy, I knew that I had to apologize to them because it was needed. My apology to Hemery was so sincere because we inadvertently screwed him over. Mrs. Pontikos was the hardest because she gave me the assignment and the faith that we would make it into something incredible. I hate to say it, but I was choked up when I was talking to her. I've never been more disappointed and ashamed of myself in my entire life to be honest. Mr. Hemery destroyed the tape, and there are no real serious consequences.

What really gets me going, is that the punishment that we would've gotten, was given the a group of kids who ganged up on a freshman and sent him to the hospital yesterday when they beat the crap out of him in the hallway. They injured somebody, we said some words. Now, I'm happy we only got what we did, because anything more would've killed me.

I'm done whining. This is over and done with, so I'm moving on. I'm better than the Sam that was on that video, and I'm going to prove it.

I'm leaving you with Now or Never by Confide, because I love it.

You have my attention, there is not a question.
You know what I'm feeling.
You'll show me the way out

It's a certain feeling that I can't describe.
I see your face when I close my eyes

There's something that's missing. I'm not one to listen
You've told me before but my ears are all yours now.

It has to be now or never you can't wait on me forever
and if you know me all so well,
you know I haven't been so well lately.

I said I would try to get through this but we know it won't last forever.
Don't let me go. (Don't let me go)

This could be, this could be the death of us all

I won't keep you waiting, I know that I'm changing
This just gives me reason to prove that I'm willing

I almost close down from all that I hide.
I know things are better when you're by my side.

I'm hoping you see that I'm honestly trying to keep
my ways clean and to show you a better side

This is it, a new me for you.
A new beginning is all I can do.

If I believed in myself as much as I believe in you
this would be so much easier but it's not so come and get me.
I can't keep bringing myself down. I tear myself apart. It has to stop.

With Peace Love, and Embarrassment,

Sam