Wow. It's been a minute, hasn't it? At any rate, I'm back and have millions of stories. First, I went to this year's Warped Tour. Amazing. I loved every minute of it. Confide and Attack Attack! blew me away, and I even got to meet the boys of Confide. Then I left for a ten day trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, which may be the greatest thing on this Earth. It was AMAZING. The attention to detail down there was awesome. I of course bought both Harry's and Voldemort's wands, which was another great idea. I am so happy to be home, and that may be for a couple reasons. God has blessed me with the greatest, most awesome friends anybody could ask for. I love these kids with every bit of my being. And being gone really sucked, because these people are such big parts of my life.
And maybe the biggest breaking news: Sam found himself a girl!! :)
She's my sister's dance teacher, and boy, she's great. I'm not gonna go on for hours and hours about how cool she is, but I could.
Some new music for you all to check:
-Broadway
-Confide
-Attack Attack
-Miss May I
Yeah, I had planned on writing more, but I gotta get going at some point today
I have a single senior picture being taken at 4:30, then The Last Airbender with Dana :)
This post's song is Such Great Heights by Confide. Yes, it's a cover, but it'll blow your mind.
Such Great Heights
I am thinking it´s a sign
That the freckles in our eyes
Are mirror images and when we kiss
They´re perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us
Into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay
And true it may seem like a stretch
But it´s thoughts like this that catch
My troubled head when you´re away
When I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road
For several weeks of shows
And when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home
They will see us waving from such great heights
Come down now they´ll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now but we´ll stay
I tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat
It sounded thin upon listening
And that frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home
They will see us waving from such great heights
Come down now they´ll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now but we´ll stay
[guitar solo]
(Come down now)
They will see us waving from such great heights
Come down now they´ll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now but we´ll stay
With Peace, Love, and Happiness :)
Sam
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
This Is My Deepest Dream..
Hello everybody, it's been a while I know. Lots of things have happened, and there isn't enough hours in the day to discuss them all. But some good news, I've been accepted to Cleveland State University for Fall 2010! I'm very excited. I go later this month for orientation, so it won't be much longer until I'm college bound. Holy snap. So with that happening, I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life. So I made a list. So far, 18 things I want to accomplish before I bite the dust.
Here's the list:
1. Graduate from college with a Masters in Education
2. Move to a warmer climate
3. Get married
4. Have kids
5. Land a study job teaching High School History
6. Learn how to play guitar
7. Travel to Europe
8. Visit South America
9. Play Pokemon Red Version, catching all 151, and possibly leveling each to level 100
10. Take a road trip to California
11. Visit each of the 50 states
12. Reach the front row of a concert and stay there the whole time
13. Get my memorial tattoo
14. Buy a nice camera, then take a photography class
15. Write and record a decent song
16. Win an award of some sort
17. Get in shape, then stay there
18. Write a short story with chapters.
Hopefully, I can accomplish most of these before I'm 30. That'd be swell.
Well, homework and Gravity is calling, so I'm going to run. Summer is almost here, so I'll be doing this much more often.
With Peace and Love,
Sam
Friday, May 7, 2010
My Side of the Story,
Hey everybody. I figured I'd make my return in an explosive fashion. I was in a ton of trouble this week, and it's finally starting to blow over. I'm making my official statement here, and expressing how I feel about it after the fact.
About two weeks ago, I was asked to interview some guys that were entering my school's male beauty pageant. So I did. And in between two of the interviews, made my own interview. The kids helping me film these kids asked me questions and I would answer them. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have and didn't mean. I finished filming the students and put a nice little video together for the pageant last Thursday.
Fast forward past my birthday on Sunday to Tuesday afternoon.
I'm sitting in Health and the girls who helped me film the interviews came up to me and said I needed to leave and talk to Mr. Hemery. So I left and went to talk to him. He told me that he and Mrs. Pontikos (a councilor) had seen my interview. Since Mrs. Pontikos was there, his hands were tied and he had to tell the administration. They were calling what happened "Hate Speak" and there were serious consequences for that. However, Mr. Hemery had convinced the administration to let him take care of it. So instead of getting suspended and more, we were getting kicked out of Video Club (which I am the president of) and our Broadcasting Independent Study. I was devastated.
I figured the best thing to do was to talk to the principal that Hemery had talked to. I sat down with him and apologized. What did I get in return?
" I have to be honest, I believe apologies are hollow and forced. Your actions speak louder than your words. Look at your past actions."
I cannot even believe this was happening. He gave me some big long speech and I ended up leaving in worse condition than when I entered. The next day (Wednesday) I went and talked to everybody else who was involved. My councilor, Mrs. Pontikos, and Mr. Hemery. Out of our entire teaching staff at the high school, I believe I hold them to the highest honor, because I have a good relationship with all of them. Mrs. Smith and Hemery were easy, I knew that I had to apologize to them because it was needed. My apology to Hemery was so sincere because we inadvertently screwed him over. Mrs. Pontikos was the hardest because she gave me the assignment and the faith that we would make it into something incredible. I hate to say it, but I was choked up when I was talking to her. I've never been more disappointed and ashamed of myself in my entire life to be honest. Mr. Hemery destroyed the tape, and there are no real serious consequences.
What really gets me going, is that the punishment that we would've gotten, was given the a group of kids who ganged up on a freshman and sent him to the hospital yesterday when they beat the crap out of him in the hallway. They injured somebody, we said some words. Now, I'm happy we only got what we did, because anything more would've killed me.
I'm done whining. This is over and done with, so I'm moving on. I'm better than the Sam that was on that video, and I'm going to prove it.
I'm leaving you with Now or Never by Confide, because I love it.
You have my attention, there is not a question.
You know what I'm feeling.
You'll show me the way out
It's a certain feeling that I can't describe.
I see your face when I close my eyes
There's something that's missing. I'm not one to listen
You've told me before but my ears are all yours now.
It has to be now or never you can't wait on me forever
and if you know me all so well,
you know I haven't been so well lately.
I said I would try to get through this but we know it won't last forever.
Don't let me go. (Don't let me go)
This could be, this could be the death of us all
I won't keep you waiting, I know that I'm changing
This just gives me reason to prove that I'm willing
I almost close down from all that I hide.
I know things are better when you're by my side.
I'm hoping you see that I'm honestly trying to keep
my ways clean and to show you a better side
This is it, a new me for you.
A new beginning is all I can do.
If I believed in myself as much as I believe in you
this would be so much easier but it's not so come and get me.
I can't keep bringing myself down. I tear myself apart. It has to stop.
With Peace Love, and Embarrassment,
Sam
About two weeks ago, I was asked to interview some guys that were entering my school's male beauty pageant. So I did. And in between two of the interviews, made my own interview. The kids helping me film these kids asked me questions and I would answer them. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have and didn't mean. I finished filming the students and put a nice little video together for the pageant last Thursday.
Fast forward past my birthday on Sunday to Tuesday afternoon.
I'm sitting in Health and the girls who helped me film the interviews came up to me and said I needed to leave and talk to Mr. Hemery. So I left and went to talk to him. He told me that he and Mrs. Pontikos (a councilor) had seen my interview. Since Mrs. Pontikos was there, his hands were tied and he had to tell the administration. They were calling what happened "Hate Speak" and there were serious consequences for that. However, Mr. Hemery had convinced the administration to let him take care of it. So instead of getting suspended and more, we were getting kicked out of Video Club (which I am the president of) and our Broadcasting Independent Study. I was devastated.
I figured the best thing to do was to talk to the principal that Hemery had talked to. I sat down with him and apologized. What did I get in return?
" I have to be honest, I believe apologies are hollow and forced. Your actions speak louder than your words. Look at your past actions."
I cannot even believe this was happening. He gave me some big long speech and I ended up leaving in worse condition than when I entered. The next day (Wednesday) I went and talked to everybody else who was involved. My councilor, Mrs. Pontikos, and Mr. Hemery. Out of our entire teaching staff at the high school, I believe I hold them to the highest honor, because I have a good relationship with all of them. Mrs. Smith and Hemery were easy, I knew that I had to apologize to them because it was needed. My apology to Hemery was so sincere because we inadvertently screwed him over. Mrs. Pontikos was the hardest because she gave me the assignment and the faith that we would make it into something incredible. I hate to say it, but I was choked up when I was talking to her. I've never been more disappointed and ashamed of myself in my entire life to be honest. Mr. Hemery destroyed the tape, and there are no real serious consequences.
What really gets me going, is that the punishment that we would've gotten, was given the a group of kids who ganged up on a freshman and sent him to the hospital yesterday when they beat the crap out of him in the hallway. They injured somebody, we said some words. Now, I'm happy we only got what we did, because anything more would've killed me.
I'm done whining. This is over and done with, so I'm moving on. I'm better than the Sam that was on that video, and I'm going to prove it.
I'm leaving you with Now or Never by Confide, because I love it.
You have my attention, there is not a question.
You know what I'm feeling.
You'll show me the way out
It's a certain feeling that I can't describe.
I see your face when I close my eyes
There's something that's missing. I'm not one to listen
You've told me before but my ears are all yours now.
It has to be now or never you can't wait on me forever
and if you know me all so well,
you know I haven't been so well lately.
I said I would try to get through this but we know it won't last forever.
Don't let me go. (Don't let me go)
This could be, this could be the death of us all
I won't keep you waiting, I know that I'm changing
This just gives me reason to prove that I'm willing
I almost close down from all that I hide.
I know things are better when you're by my side.
I'm hoping you see that I'm honestly trying to keep
my ways clean and to show you a better side
This is it, a new me for you.
A new beginning is all I can do.
If I believed in myself as much as I believe in you
this would be so much easier but it's not so come and get me.
I can't keep bringing myself down. I tear myself apart. It has to stop.
With Peace Love, and Embarrassment,
Sam
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Hey kids....
I'm in a bit of trouble. I'll try writing about it all tomorrow. It's not as bad as it could've been, but I'm really lucky.
-Sam
-Sam
Friday, April 23, 2010
I'd Like to Make This Post About...
The fact that I am still alive. Look for something of value and worth in the coming week
-Sam
-Sam
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Willing Well: Fear Through the Eyes of Madness
Hey everybody, I hope everything is good on your end. I, myself, am going insane. I'm going in for surgery tomorrow at 11:15 AM EST. And I've never been more afraid in my life.
When I was little, I hit my elbow on the side mirror of my aunt's car. Turns out I tore the covering of the Ulnar nerve in you elbow, which is over the funny bone. When I bend my arm, this nerve pops over the funny bone, creating some discomfort. So now I'm getting it taken care of. And despite how I come off, I am terrified. I'd rather swim five 500s (100 lengths of the pool) than go in for surgery tomorrow. I'm freaking out and can't calm down.
Which brings me to our topic. Fear. That which makes your hair stand on end. What keeps you awake at night. Terror. I'm afraid of a ton of stuff. Spiders. Heights. Death. Surgery. But I've accepted a lot of that stuff. Except surgery. When I think about tomorrow, I envision the surgery that was performed on Jigsaw in Saw III. Really great right? Anyway.
Fear belittles us. Makes us afraid to speak. Case: there is a person at my school, who we'll call Jane Doe for now, and it's darn near impossible to talk to her. I've had plenty of chances, but haven't been able to do it yet. But I will tomorrow, because I'm going to school for that reason.
Fear stops us from being who we truly are. We are afraid to do things that we like because we are scared of what people will think about us. Well, I'm going to walk around and play Pokemon. I dun currr. Anyway. I seem to be getting sidetracked a ton. So I think I'm going to cut myself off. I'm watching Step Brothers and just trying to relax. I'm playing the "Stuff-Your-Face-Until-Midnight" game. Then it's an all water diet until surgery. Geez oh man. I'm scared.
The Bird and the Worm- The Used
That song seems perfect for this post. I'll be tweeting the whole affair tomorrow, so follow me @samthecarrier
With Peace, Love, and a touch of Fear,
Sam
When I was little, I hit my elbow on the side mirror of my aunt's car. Turns out I tore the covering of the Ulnar nerve in you elbow, which is over the funny bone. When I bend my arm, this nerve pops over the funny bone, creating some discomfort. So now I'm getting it taken care of. And despite how I come off, I am terrified. I'd rather swim five 500s (100 lengths of the pool) than go in for surgery tomorrow. I'm freaking out and can't calm down.
Which brings me to our topic. Fear. That which makes your hair stand on end. What keeps you awake at night. Terror. I'm afraid of a ton of stuff. Spiders. Heights. Death. Surgery. But I've accepted a lot of that stuff. Except surgery. When I think about tomorrow, I envision the surgery that was performed on Jigsaw in Saw III. Really great right? Anyway.
Fear belittles us. Makes us afraid to speak. Case: there is a person at my school, who we'll call Jane Doe for now, and it's darn near impossible to talk to her. I've had plenty of chances, but haven't been able to do it yet. But I will tomorrow, because I'm going to school for that reason.
Fear stops us from being who we truly are. We are afraid to do things that we like because we are scared of what people will think about us. Well, I'm going to walk around and play Pokemon. I dun currr. Anyway. I seem to be getting sidetracked a ton. So I think I'm going to cut myself off. I'm watching Step Brothers and just trying to relax. I'm playing the "Stuff-Your-Face-Until-Midnight" game. Then it's an all water diet until surgery. Geez oh man. I'm scared.
The Bird and the Worm- The Used
That song seems perfect for this post. I'll be tweeting the whole affair tomorrow, so follow me @samthecarrier
With Peace, Love, and a touch of Fear,
Sam
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Eris and Dsynomia
Hello everybody, sorry for not posting anything for a bit. I've been having writer's block and being addicted to Pokemon again... But it's all good. Yesterday I went to Borders with Tom and came to the conclusion that we are turning into Coffee Shop Kids, and I'm okay with that. I like my coffee. Today, I went to go see Alice in Wonderland again with Robby and then basically slept all day. Very productive if you ask me. So now I'm sitting here listening to The Devil Wears Prada and writing.
A very particular person has reared her ugly head again, and that isn't sitting well with me. Morgan Balodis. Bane of my existence. This girl was in love with me freshman year and thinks that we can be friends even though she calls two of my friends "Bipolar B****es" and treat them like crap. So this post is going to be all about HATE
What gives people the idea that they are superior? We're all the same, sinners and liars. So why does Morgan believe she is so much better than Sherron and Emilie? Maybe it's that tumor pushing on her skull. Morgan has this "tumor" supposedly, on her brain. And I don't want to sound mean, I really don't, but I believe this "tumor" doesn't exist. Reason being, she is PROUD of it. And they operated on it, she came back, and she looked fine. They would have had to cut her, but she wasn't missing hair or anything. In fact, her hair was the same exact Peanut Butter and Jelly looking mess that it was when she left.
Maybe it's a character flaw. Hitler exterminated 600,000 Jews in World War II for almost no reason. Just a deep hatred for them. America's Klu Klux Klan lynched African Americans because the KKK despised them. Heck, the British shipped all their convicts and handicapped to Australia because they were unwanted.
Could it be that it is human nature to fear and prosecute what we don't understand. Who really knows. God does, but I've got a long time before I can ask him (knock on wood) face to face.
I'm leaving you with Asking Alexandria's Alerion. It's intense. And angry. Please mind the language.
Alerion- Asking Alexandria
Fuck this!
Cross my heart, I hope you die
Left by the roadside
Karma's a bitch, right?
Cross my heart, I hope you die
Left by the roadside
Karma's a bitch, right?
Short, sweet and to the point eh? Here's a video, enjoy!
With Peace, Love, and a bit of Anger,
Sam
A very particular person has reared her ugly head again, and that isn't sitting well with me. Morgan Balodis. Bane of my existence. This girl was in love with me freshman year and thinks that we can be friends even though she calls two of my friends "Bipolar B****es" and treat them like crap. So this post is going to be all about HATE
What gives people the idea that they are superior? We're all the same, sinners and liars. So why does Morgan believe she is so much better than Sherron and Emilie? Maybe it's that tumor pushing on her skull. Morgan has this "tumor" supposedly, on her brain. And I don't want to sound mean, I really don't, but I believe this "tumor" doesn't exist. Reason being, she is PROUD of it. And they operated on it, she came back, and she looked fine. They would have had to cut her, but she wasn't missing hair or anything. In fact, her hair was the same exact Peanut Butter and Jelly looking mess that it was when she left.
Maybe it's a character flaw. Hitler exterminated 600,000 Jews in World War II for almost no reason. Just a deep hatred for them. America's Klu Klux Klan lynched African Americans because the KKK despised them. Heck, the British shipped all their convicts and handicapped to Australia because they were unwanted.
Could it be that it is human nature to fear and prosecute what we don't understand. Who really knows. God does, but I've got a long time before I can ask him (knock on wood) face to face.
I'm leaving you with Asking Alexandria's Alerion. It's intense. And angry. Please mind the language.
Alerion- Asking Alexandria
Fuck this!
Cross my heart, I hope you die
Left by the roadside
Karma's a bitch, right?
Cross my heart, I hope you die
Left by the roadside
Karma's a bitch, right?
Short, sweet and to the point eh? Here's a video, enjoy!
With Peace, Love, and a bit of Anger,
Sam
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
And I Have A Question....
What is Love?
NeverShoutNever's song What is Love? grabbed me the first time I heard it. It is my "Story of my Life" song. It's about Christofer Drew's parent's divorce and how now he doesn't really know what love is anymore. It's a hard thing to talk or write about, love is. It's a tricky concept. Everybody thinks that they feel it, but then get shocked when their relationship fails. I know for a fact that I would give ANYTHING to protect my friends and family. Maybe that's love? I think that when you know you would die for that person, and would do anything to be with them, that is love. I would cross any ocean, slay any beast, climb any mountain to protect those who mean the world to me.
Now there are a lot of people out in the world that believe that love is based on sex *cough RAPPERS cough* or somebody's appearance *cough cough* This simply cannot be true. I love my cousins. I would never sleep with them. Ick. I love a bunch of kids at school, but I'd never sleep with them. So that pretty much destroys the rapper's argument. We all have the ability to love while keeping in in our pants.
Love is a trickster. It plays with our emotions and then crushes them. A lot of musicians write about the polar extremes, Can't Stand It by NeverShoutNever for happiness and You Told Me You Loved Me by Cinematic Sunrise for the not so happy times. I find that it's a lot easier to be happy if you just throw love to the wind and live life how you want. Love will eventually come back, as it always does, because everything works out in the end. God has a funny way of doing things, trust me.
To those hopeless romantics, calm it down already.
To the Twilight fans, love isn't always going to be Edward Cullen. Vampires are NOTHING like him. Watch 30 Days of Night or Spark's the Rescue's We Love Like Vampires. Vampires burn in sunlight. But I digress.
Keep your heads up my friends, I've got your back, ALWAYS.
What is Love?- NeverShoutNever
In a snitch like this
You gotta think and I don't think you
Think about the way he thinks
And I know you live life
For yourself
But it all comes down to
The way you help
And I know your life is such a hell
You wake up early and you work until
You have your drinks at 5 o'clock
The hours blend and your thoughts
All haunt your hopes, your dreams
Your everything
Well, mama, I hope
I dream that you won't leave
And I have a question:
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
'Cause that's not how you
Raised me, yeah.
In a snitch like this you gotta think
And I don't think you think
About the way she thinks
And I know you work hard everyday
But it all comes down
To the way you're paid
And I know you're oh so sorry dad
I truly believe that you're a better man
Than to share one kiss and then give away
From the love you come home everyday
Your hopes, your dreams, your everything
Well daddy, I hope, I dream
That she won't leave
And I have a question:
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
'Cause that's not how you
Raised me
And what is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
See, I don't know anymore
I used to look
Up to
That love
For the incredible video, click right here.
NeverShoutNever's song What is Love? grabbed me the first time I heard it. It is my "Story of my Life" song. It's about Christofer Drew's parent's divorce and how now he doesn't really know what love is anymore. It's a hard thing to talk or write about, love is. It's a tricky concept. Everybody thinks that they feel it, but then get shocked when their relationship fails. I know for a fact that I would give ANYTHING to protect my friends and family. Maybe that's love? I think that when you know you would die for that person, and would do anything to be with them, that is love. I would cross any ocean, slay any beast, climb any mountain to protect those who mean the world to me.
Now there are a lot of people out in the world that believe that love is based on sex *cough RAPPERS cough* or somebody's appearance *cough cough* This simply cannot be true. I love my cousins. I would never sleep with them. Ick. I love a bunch of kids at school, but I'd never sleep with them. So that pretty much destroys the rapper's argument. We all have the ability to love while keeping in in our pants.
Love is a trickster. It plays with our emotions and then crushes them. A lot of musicians write about the polar extremes, Can't Stand It by NeverShoutNever for happiness and You Told Me You Loved Me by Cinematic Sunrise for the not so happy times. I find that it's a lot easier to be happy if you just throw love to the wind and live life how you want. Love will eventually come back, as it always does, because everything works out in the end. God has a funny way of doing things, trust me.
To those hopeless romantics, calm it down already.
To the Twilight fans, love isn't always going to be Edward Cullen. Vampires are NOTHING like him. Watch 30 Days of Night or Spark's the Rescue's We Love Like Vampires. Vampires burn in sunlight. But I digress.
Keep your heads up my friends, I've got your back, ALWAYS.
What is Love?- NeverShoutNever
In a snitch like this
You gotta think and I don't think you
Think about the way he thinks
And I know you live life
For yourself
But it all comes down to
The way you help
And I know your life is such a hell
You wake up early and you work until
You have your drinks at 5 o'clock
The hours blend and your thoughts
All haunt your hopes, your dreams
Your everything
Well, mama, I hope
I dream that you won't leave
And I have a question:
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
'Cause that's not how you
Raised me, yeah.
In a snitch like this you gotta think
And I don't think you think
About the way she thinks
And I know you work hard everyday
But it all comes down
To the way you're paid
And I know you're oh so sorry dad
I truly believe that you're a better man
Than to share one kiss and then give away
From the love you come home everyday
Your hopes, your dreams, your everything
Well daddy, I hope, I dream
That she won't leave
And I have a question:
What is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
Is it giving up?
'Cause that's not how you
Raised me
And what is love?
What is love?
Oh, oh oh oh-oh-oh
See, I don't know anymore
I used to look
Up to
That love
For the incredible video, click right here.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Together, Forever, Whatever They Say
Good morning! This morning has been super productive so far. I ran, showered and made my coffee all in an hour. I feel so productive right now. Today's schedule reads as: Run (done!) Shower (Done!) Make coffee (done!) Write (Working on it) Fragile X Syndrome powerpoint, and my Vitamin A powerpoint. I will get those projects done this weekend. It felt so good to run, I like it when I feel sore because I know I was doing something right!
I've been thinking about friends a lot this morning. Especially during my run. I've been in retrospect mode a lot lately, which I guess is kinda cool. We gain friends, we lose friends, but your actual friends will stand next to you when your entire world is in flames and crumbling.
Tom- The Words "Best Friend" Become Redefined came on during my run and it made me think of all the great things that have happened during our friendship. The Chiodos concert, Blue Pants, driving the wrong way down Brecksville road and ending up in Independence, that day Lexi had her sleepover and the nine year olds tried to murder me. All great times. I'm glad I have you as a friend.
Mary- Where do I start? The snow globe? Going 90 on the interstate? Watchmen? Who knows. But one thing is fo sho. You are amazing. I'm so glad that we are friends because I can't see us being related but not being friends. We need to drive around blasting angry music again, because that is way more fun than just sitting around. Love you dear.
Grace- Jeez oh man. Yo and your sister, I have no clue what to say. "YOU COULD'VE PARALYZED ME!!!" Maybe that's a good start.Or how you are like Ron Weasley and snog Ryan Chambers than get all salty. You and your sister are constant sources of entertainment and I love scavenger hunts with you two. From Fall Out Boy to Star Wars, you girls are female versions of myself. I'm so proud of all that you've done this year and can't wait to go to CSU with you guys.
Theresa-We've had a rough year. But we made it through, and that's all that matters. You come home soon and I'd love to hang out with you, even if it's only to play A Favor House Atlantic. You and me will go to a Coheed and Cambria concert if it's the last thing we do. I hate that you go to OU, you should legit come to CSU and we can hang out everyday.
Hayley- We haven't known each other long, but you're pretty awesome. That facebook conversation with Faith's boyfriend was AMAZING. We seriously need to play Lazer Tag and watch The Crazies. Kristyn texted me last night saying "I just saw a preview for The Crazies and that is not me or my family!" Instant lols were had.
Sarah Freakin Willmann- I MISS YOU SO DANG MUCH. You better swim next year, 'cuz I need a bus buddy. I have to say, out of all the Sophomores on the team this year, you and Cam were my favorites. Our bus rides this year with Pat and Smith were my favorite part of the season. I have to tell you, the bus ride from Cloverleaf was my all time favorite, mainly because of Smith's Toddler's in Tiaras rant. You should totes swim Oakridge so we can hang out everyday.
Wow, writing this, I've come to realize that you guys are my really good friends. I can tell any of you anything and I know you'll help me out. I love you kids. Tom, I mean that in a No-Homo way. I'm not Vince.
Power Point is calling my name, so I must answer it's call. I'll post something of substance next week, probably Monday.
With Peace and Love,
Sam
I've been thinking about friends a lot this morning. Especially during my run. I've been in retrospect mode a lot lately, which I guess is kinda cool. We gain friends, we lose friends, but your actual friends will stand next to you when your entire world is in flames and crumbling.
Tom- The Words "Best Friend" Become Redefined came on during my run and it made me think of all the great things that have happened during our friendship. The Chiodos concert, Blue Pants, driving the wrong way down Brecksville road and ending up in Independence, that day Lexi had her sleepover and the nine year olds tried to murder me. All great times. I'm glad I have you as a friend.
Mary- Where do I start? The snow globe? Going 90 on the interstate? Watchmen? Who knows. But one thing is fo sho. You are amazing. I'm so glad that we are friends because I can't see us being related but not being friends. We need to drive around blasting angry music again, because that is way more fun than just sitting around. Love you dear.
Grace- Jeez oh man. Yo and your sister, I have no clue what to say. "YOU COULD'VE PARALYZED ME!!!" Maybe that's a good start.Or how you are like Ron Weasley and snog Ryan Chambers than get all salty. You and your sister are constant sources of entertainment and I love scavenger hunts with you two. From Fall Out Boy to Star Wars, you girls are female versions of myself. I'm so proud of all that you've done this year and can't wait to go to CSU with you guys.
Theresa-We've had a rough year. But we made it through, and that's all that matters. You come home soon and I'd love to hang out with you, even if it's only to play A Favor House Atlantic. You and me will go to a Coheed and Cambria concert if it's the last thing we do. I hate that you go to OU, you should legit come to CSU and we can hang out everyday.
Hayley- We haven't known each other long, but you're pretty awesome. That facebook conversation with Faith's boyfriend was AMAZING. We seriously need to play Lazer Tag and watch The Crazies. Kristyn texted me last night saying "I just saw a preview for The Crazies and that is not me or my family!" Instant lols were had.
Sarah Freakin Willmann- I MISS YOU SO DANG MUCH. You better swim next year, 'cuz I need a bus buddy. I have to say, out of all the Sophomores on the team this year, you and Cam were my favorites. Our bus rides this year with Pat and Smith were my favorite part of the season. I have to tell you, the bus ride from Cloverleaf was my all time favorite, mainly because of Smith's Toddler's in Tiaras rant. You should totes swim Oakridge so we can hang out everyday.
Wow, writing this, I've come to realize that you guys are my really good friends. I can tell any of you anything and I know you'll help me out. I love you kids. Tom, I mean that in a No-Homo way. I'm not Vince.
Power Point is calling my name, so I must answer it's call. I'll post something of substance next week, probably Monday.
With Peace and Love,
Sam
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Time
Hello everyone. I hope the week has been enjoyable so far. On Monday my sister went to audition for Sleeping Beauty, and I went with her. Just before she went down to audition, I figured "What the heck." and went to audition with her. I sang "My Friends" from Sweeney Todd, purely as a joke. Well. Now I get to be Prince Plump and wear a fat suit. Nice going Sam. Anyway.
I feel like time is just flying by. I wake up, school, homework, dinner, LOST, bed. It's a crazy life and I heard a song the other day that just stopped me in my tracks. It's called But I Can't by Plug In Stereo. It reminds me of the times we can't have back. I would give anything to go back to the days when losing a game was the worst thing I knew. It seems like the world beats us up, strips us of our childish selves and leaves us cold and disenchanted. It sucks. Big time. But there is hope. We can still be that child again. Imagination never leaves us, we just forget that it exists. Imagination, what an awesome concept. It sets us apart from everything else on Earth. We can imagine other lands, other worlds, other beings. Imagination, it's what keeps me up after I watch Paranormal Activity for the first time and think a demon's in my house when it is just acorns falling on my house. Imagination, it's what makes you YOU. Children are so pure, so innocent, so happy, so oblivious to the mess that people call life. My aunt had a baby girl named Addison Rose not too long ago, and my cousin Grace and I were talking about how sad it is that someday, somebody's going to hurt that baby girl that change the way she views life forever.
Today, I was so relaxed all day, with the exception of Biology II, which I'll never understand, so I just kinda give up in that class. But I was happy all day, the weather here is so nice and it just puts me in an overall good mood :D I'm sitting here writing this and listening to Coheed's new track Here We are Juggernaut, which is amazing by the way, and feeling quite happy overall. Well, I think I'll go play some Half Life: Portal or spend some time outside!
I'm posting the But I Can't lyrics, Plug in Stereo is amazing!
But I Can't
ake me back to the days when I could not wait to wake up,
weird hair, didn't care what to wear cause no matter what, I still felt loved.
Take me back to the days, when losing a game was the worst thing I knew.
Getting thrills off of little stuff that now, I just can't do.
I can't stand growing up, I'm going too fast.
Well just a second I miss my past.
Yeah being old has its perks,
but I miss my old friends,
and the way the she used to be
I wanna start again. x2
I miss, everything.
I wish that you could.
Take me back to the days when school wasn't a chore.
Now I have to play hookie to hide from the things that I used to not want to ignore.
Take me back to, the world that I knew before, the love was taken.
Another smile drop, listen while time stops now....
I can't stand growing up, I'm going too fast.
Well just a second I miss my past.
Yeah being old has its perks,
but I miss my old friends,
and the way the shit used to be
I wanna start again. x2
Take me back to the days when I hated to fall asleep.
If I could I know I would spend a day under my sheets.
Take me back to the life, when I can know myself again.
I wish I could, I wish I could,
but I can't
With Peace, Love, and Smiles,
Sam
I feel like time is just flying by. I wake up, school, homework, dinner, LOST, bed. It's a crazy life and I heard a song the other day that just stopped me in my tracks. It's called But I Can't by Plug In Stereo. It reminds me of the times we can't have back. I would give anything to go back to the days when losing a game was the worst thing I knew. It seems like the world beats us up, strips us of our childish selves and leaves us cold and disenchanted. It sucks. Big time. But there is hope. We can still be that child again. Imagination never leaves us, we just forget that it exists. Imagination, what an awesome concept. It sets us apart from everything else on Earth. We can imagine other lands, other worlds, other beings. Imagination, it's what keeps me up after I watch Paranormal Activity for the first time and think a demon's in my house when it is just acorns falling on my house. Imagination, it's what makes you YOU. Children are so pure, so innocent, so happy, so oblivious to the mess that people call life. My aunt had a baby girl named Addison Rose not too long ago, and my cousin Grace and I were talking about how sad it is that someday, somebody's going to hurt that baby girl that change the way she views life forever.
Today, I was so relaxed all day, with the exception of Biology II, which I'll never understand, so I just kinda give up in that class. But I was happy all day, the weather here is so nice and it just puts me in an overall good mood :D I'm sitting here writing this and listening to Coheed's new track Here We are Juggernaut, which is amazing by the way, and feeling quite happy overall. Well, I think I'll go play some Half Life: Portal or spend some time outside!
I'm posting the But I Can't lyrics, Plug in Stereo is amazing!
But I Can't
ake me back to the days when I could not wait to wake up,
weird hair, didn't care what to wear cause no matter what, I still felt loved.
Take me back to the days, when losing a game was the worst thing I knew.
Getting thrills off of little stuff that now, I just can't do.
I can't stand growing up, I'm going too fast.
Well just a second I miss my past.
Yeah being old has its perks,
but I miss my old friends,
and the way the she used to be
I wanna start again. x2
I miss, everything.
I wish that you could.
Take me back to the days when school wasn't a chore.
Now I have to play hookie to hide from the things that I used to not want to ignore.
Take me back to, the world that I knew before, the love was taken.
Another smile drop, listen while time stops now....
I can't stand growing up, I'm going too fast.
Well just a second I miss my past.
Yeah being old has its perks,
but I miss my old friends,
and the way the shit used to be
I wanna start again. x2
Take me back to the days when I hated to fall asleep.
If I could I know I would spend a day under my sheets.
Take me back to the life, when I can know myself again.
I wish I could, I wish I could,
but I can't
With Peace, Love, and Smiles,
Sam
Sunday, March 7, 2010
"Best Friends?" Hmm.
We all have someone in our life we can run to. Confide in, trust. Some people have three or four of these people, while others only have one. I had four. Had being the key word. Now I have three, and I love them to death. The other one, she kinda fell away.
They say college is a new experience and people gain and lose friends. This one girl went off to college and I didn't hear from her for about 3 months. Then she starts texting me again and we start talking everyday again. We made a bunch of plans to hang out over her break. She comes home and I see her about three times. All of those times were at swim practice, where our time to talk was limited. The girl left without saying goodbye.
Fast forward to last week: I was facebooking a mutual friend of ours and this girl sees it and comments on it because I mentioned how I missed this girl Andie (whose facebook this was happening on) and another friend of ours. I told my old confidant that I *kinda* saw her over break, whereas I hadn't seen the two others since July. My old friend goes to post of facebook, and I quote,
"i will break the tension and say. i love you. and that a favor house atlantic came on while i was walking to class this morning. i got really excited and smiled. and then a random man thought i was smiling at him. and winked. awwwwkward. but aside from my bitterness, i do miss you. alot."
Now what she doesn't understand is how much I miss her and how much I need to talk to her again. We've gone through so much in the past years that it would truly suck for this friendship to be a wash.
If you're reading this right now, you know who you are.
The Final Cut- Coheed & Cambria:
In the final curtain call
You left me here with the coldest of feelings
Weight, kind, depression
Blessing the floor with the places you've stepped in
Will they ever measure up
To the way you left me?
Here by the roadside
The bloodiest cadaver
Marked in your words:
I'm the joke,
I'm the bastard
Here wait, so I guess that you knew
That you're a selfish little whore
I'm the selfish little whore
If I had my way I'd crush your face in the door
This is no beginning, yeah yeah
This is the final cut, open up
This is no beginning, yeah yeah
This is the final cut, I'm in love
This seems really harsh, but in ways I can relate to The Writing Writer and how he feels. I'm not calling my friend a whore. I swear on my life, she may look like one, but she isn't :) She'll know that's a joke. I'd get hit for things like that.
TAH, it's not too late, let's fix things.
They say college is a new experience and people gain and lose friends. This one girl went off to college and I didn't hear from her for about 3 months. Then she starts texting me again and we start talking everyday again. We made a bunch of plans to hang out over her break. She comes home and I see her about three times. All of those times were at swim practice, where our time to talk was limited. The girl left without saying goodbye.
Fast forward to last week: I was facebooking a mutual friend of ours and this girl sees it and comments on it because I mentioned how I missed this girl Andie (whose facebook this was happening on) and another friend of ours. I told my old confidant that I *kinda* saw her over break, whereas I hadn't seen the two others since July. My old friend goes to post of facebook, and I quote,
"i will break the tension and say. i love you. and that a favor house atlantic came on while i was walking to class this morning. i got really excited and smiled. and then a random man thought i was smiling at him. and winked. awwwwkward. but aside from my bitterness, i do miss you. alot."
Now what she doesn't understand is how much I miss her and how much I need to talk to her again. We've gone through so much in the past years that it would truly suck for this friendship to be a wash.
If you're reading this right now, you know who you are.
The Final Cut- Coheed & Cambria:
In the final curtain call
You left me here with the coldest of feelings
Weight, kind, depression
Blessing the floor with the places you've stepped in
Will they ever measure up
To the way you left me?
Here by the roadside
The bloodiest cadaver
Marked in your words:
I'm the joke,
I'm the bastard
Here wait, so I guess that you knew
That you're a selfish little whore
I'm the selfish little whore
If I had my way I'd crush your face in the door
This is no beginning, yeah yeah
This is the final cut, open up
This is no beginning, yeah yeah
This is the final cut, I'm in love
This seems really harsh, but in ways I can relate to The Writing Writer and how he feels. I'm not calling my friend a whore. I swear on my life, she may look like one, but she isn't :) She'll know that's a joke. I'd get hit for things like that.
TAH, it's not too late, let's fix things.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Dreams
I figured I would just post somethings that I would like to accomplish in my life, nothing big right now, a solid post is coming later.
1. Graduate with honors
2. Get in to Cleveland State or Florida State
3. Get my Masters in Education and History
4. Land a solid job in the South, because it doesn't really snow there.
5. Get a nice house
6. Live a happy, peaceful life
7. Find my solace in Christ
This is what I would love to have in my life. I've got my work cut out for myself don't I?
1. Graduate with honors
2. Get in to Cleveland State or Florida State
3. Get my Masters in Education and History
4. Land a solid job in the South, because it doesn't really snow there.
5. Get a nice house
6. Live a happy, peaceful life
7. Find my solace in Christ
This is what I would love to have in my life. I've got my work cut out for myself don't I?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Reflections
I think I'll take a day break from the heavy topics and just reflect. I'm sitting on the couch in the living room looking out the picture window at all the snow and drinking a cup of hot chocolate. This snow was a God send. It gave us a much needed snow day, and I needed a mental health day. Lately I've been thinking about life and the road I'm on. To sum up where we are at in Sam's Life Story: I was born in 1993, the location and date are not needed. My parents got divorced when I was about three, and they were both remarried to different people by the time I was five. Mom and Stepfather have a daughter who is nine, and Dad and Stepmom have two daughters ages seven and five. I am one of two boys on my dad's side of the family, which is kinda crazy. I was a generally happy kid, life was different, but it was all cool. Sixth grade was hard, but I'm not here to whine about my life when there are people who live off a dollar a day. Anyway, I moved to my current location in the summer that I was to start middle school. That summer I joined a swim team, and even though I was terrible, I got better really fast and developed a love for it. Middle school is fairly uneventful, but I a lot of it seems blurred by the next part: my grandmother's battle with cancer. She fought breast cancer for ten years before she was called to Heaven and rescued from her pain. The remarkable part? She NEVER complained. Never "Why me?" or "What did I do to deserve this?" Just a smile and a joke. She was hands down the strongest person I've ever met, even if she was only four foot eleven. She past away a year and two months ago and not a day goes by where I don't think about her. She was such a remarkable person, that I find it hard to believe that she is gone. Her house feels so very empty, and it's not spotless like she kept it. I actually went over there with my cousins and cleaned it because I could see some dust. She kept the place immaculate. That house and her family were her pride and joy.
When I went to my concert last week, Of Mice and Men played a remarkable song called "Second & Sebring." I loved the song when I first heard it, and now that I've done my research I find the song even more amazing. Jaxin Hall's clean lyrics are fantastic, and Austin Carlile (former frontman of Attack Attack!) is at his greatest in this track.
So with that, I think I'm going to do some reading, we're reading Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers in Modern Literature, and I'm severely behind.
I'm leaving you with the lyrics to Second & Sebring, as well as a link to download their self titled album, out March 9th.
Second & Sebring
I believe its time for me to be famous,
and out of place.
I believe its time for me to move for forward,
when I break through.
This time I'll, make you,
Proud to see me over, come all day life.
Proud of, who you raised.
Your shelter, your peacefulness.
So this time I'll make you proud.
Proud of, who you raised up.
You know that I will,
always be here till' the end.
Come back so I can say thank you for this,
home cooked meals and a place to rest,
my troubled head when you're away,
I've passed the test, I've earned an A,
not just in school, but in life,
you'll always be right by my side.
To help me show, hope to all,
that are lost and sick in this dying world.
I'll use the love you left behind,
I'll change their minds, I'll change their minds.
I hope, I hope you smile,
when you look down on me.
I hope you smile.
This can't, we won't know.
I hope that I make you proud.
This is not what it is, only baby scars.
We need your love like a boy needs his mother's side.
This is not what it is, only baby scars.
I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side.
Here is the link to download their album, I hope you enjoy it, I know I am.
With Peace and Love, Always
Sam
When I went to my concert last week, Of Mice and Men played a remarkable song called "Second & Sebring." I loved the song when I first heard it, and now that I've done my research I find the song even more amazing. Jaxin Hall's clean lyrics are fantastic, and Austin Carlile (former frontman of Attack Attack!) is at his greatest in this track.
So with that, I think I'm going to do some reading, we're reading Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers in Modern Literature, and I'm severely behind.
I'm leaving you with the lyrics to Second & Sebring, as well as a link to download their self titled album, out March 9th.
Second & Sebring
I believe its time for me to be famous,
and out of place.
I believe its time for me to move for forward,
when I break through.
This time I'll, make you,
Proud to see me over, come all day life.
Proud of, who you raised.
Your shelter, your peacefulness.
So this time I'll make you proud.
Proud of, who you raised up.
You know that I will,
always be here till' the end.
Come back so I can say thank you for this,
home cooked meals and a place to rest,
my troubled head when you're away,
I've passed the test, I've earned an A,
not just in school, but in life,
you'll always be right by my side.
To help me show, hope to all,
that are lost and sick in this dying world.
I'll use the love you left behind,
I'll change their minds, I'll change their minds.
I hope, I hope you smile,
when you look down on me.
I hope you smile.
This can't, we won't know.
I hope that I make you proud.
This is not what it is, only baby scars.
We need your love like a boy needs his mother's side.
This is not what it is, only baby scars.
I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side.
Here is the link to download their album, I hope you enjoy it, I know I am.
With Peace and Love, Always
Sam
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Evolution/Revolution
Hello everybody, I hope the week went well for all of you. My week was fairly short, no school Monday, then Thursday I went to visit a college downtown. Yesterday, I saw We Came as Romans, The Word Alive, Of Mice & Men, A Skylit Drive and Alesana at a club downtown. This was my first stage dive and crowd surf experience, and while it was a reckless decision, it was amazing :D We Came as Romans ended their set with as speech about compassion and loving each other. It was a prelude to the awesome concert that lay ahead.
During Biology II the past couple weeks, we have been studying genetics and with genetics raises the timeless debate over evolution. And that thought has been bouncing off my skull lately. But here's a question: Why can't we believe in both Creation and Evolution?
Evolution can be defined as change over time. Like Pokemon, Bulbasaur didn't become Ivysaur over night. It took lots of hard work and a long time for Bulbasaur to become the end result. So we all came from Adam and Eve, but we needed to change over time to adapt to the harsh world we live in. It's similar to going outside in the winter time. You get cold, you adapt by putting a jacket on. There is no proper way to discuss this topic, as we base the Creation theory mostly on the Bible. I believe in Creation wholeheartedly, but I have been feeling like it's part of God's plan for us to evolve. After all, we were created in His image, but were ruined by eating the fruit from the Tree. So would evolution be steps closer to being restored to His image?
All of this is just guesswork, and I guess only time will tell.
I know that this probably doesn't sit well with some people. But as of now, I'm just trying to find answers in life. I'm trying to work through the Bible and understand what it is to be here. What is my purpose? Maybe it's just to write this. Maybe it's just to challenge myself. Maybe it's just to do nothing. Either way, I will search until I find out what it is to LIVE and LOVE
Denzel Washington plays a man trusted to protect the last Bible in The Book of Eli. That man had it all figured out. He was a total boss. If I even gain half the knowledge he had, I'll chalk my life up to a success.
Believe- AKissForJersey
Well friends, I'm going to get some sleep, possibly watch The Breakfast Club.
With Peace and Love, Always,
Sam.
During Biology II the past couple weeks, we have been studying genetics and with genetics raises the timeless debate over evolution. And that thought has been bouncing off my skull lately. But here's a question: Why can't we believe in both Creation and Evolution?
Evolution can be defined as change over time. Like Pokemon, Bulbasaur didn't become Ivysaur over night. It took lots of hard work and a long time for Bulbasaur to become the end result. So we all came from Adam and Eve, but we needed to change over time to adapt to the harsh world we live in. It's similar to going outside in the winter time. You get cold, you adapt by putting a jacket on. There is no proper way to discuss this topic, as we base the Creation theory mostly on the Bible. I believe in Creation wholeheartedly, but I have been feeling like it's part of God's plan for us to evolve. After all, we were created in His image, but were ruined by eating the fruit from the Tree. So would evolution be steps closer to being restored to His image?
All of this is just guesswork, and I guess only time will tell.
I know that this probably doesn't sit well with some people. But as of now, I'm just trying to find answers in life. I'm trying to work through the Bible and understand what it is to be here. What is my purpose? Maybe it's just to write this. Maybe it's just to challenge myself. Maybe it's just to do nothing. Either way, I will search until I find out what it is to LIVE and LOVE
Denzel Washington plays a man trusted to protect the last Bible in The Book of Eli. That man had it all figured out. He was a total boss. If I even gain half the knowledge he had, I'll chalk my life up to a success.
Believe- AKissForJersey
Well friends, I'm going to get some sleep, possibly watch The Breakfast Club.
With Peace and Love, Always,
Sam.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
What is Perfection?
Perfect- adjective- pure or unmixed
This quote has really changed me look on life and myself lately. While WCAR is not strictly Christian Rock, they preach a good message. In a world where the view of "perfection" has been drastically skewed, this guys shout the truth. That's what I want to talk about today. Perfection. What is it? What does it look like? Where I can find me some of it?
Well, first, I believe perfection is impossible. The only person I can think of who is perfect is God himself. God created every one of us in his image, but thanks to sin, we become skewed and lose sight of what is "perfect." Society's view of perfect kinda plays like this: Blonde or brunette hair (since red hair deems you a "Ginger"), large chest, good makeup, nice teeth, tan, and name brand clothes. Guys, basically nice teeth, name brand clothes and a six pack. This image is splattered all over every name brand store, Aeropostle, Ambercombie and Fitch, American Eagle. All shirtless men that are built. But really, all that does is ruin people's self esteem.
Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Nobody can define perfection for you, you need to discover what you believe is perfect. It takes a while, and you may make mistakes, but that is why Jesus died on the cross. To forgive our mistakes. But we need to life our lives for Christ and not throw caution to the wind and do whatever. Perfection is what you decide, and you cannot let anybody define your principles. Make your own path in life, you only get one.
Seeking, Searching, Reaching, Always- We Came As Romans
With Peace and Love,
Sam.
PS. If you like what you are reading, pass it on! Let this truly be An Ever Growing Wonder.
SJH
PS. If you like what you are reading, pass it on! Let this truly be An Ever Growing Wonder.
SJH
Monday, February 15, 2010
It's Been A While...
I know it's been like two weeks since I've posted, but I had some important swim meets I had to train for. But swimming's over now, so expect one post a week.
I've been thinking about the whole grand scheme of life. Why is it that we search and search, but can't seem to find true happiness? A couple months ago I was struggling with my swimming times and could be satisfied until I beat them. It makes one think that walls are put up for a reason. But I broke through those walls. I found that there was no where to go, but up from here. And I like that feeling a lot more than the depression of having that wall there. I was talking to a friend about how we've been single for over a year and he asked if "it was okay that he enjoyed the loneliness." I think that while the feeling of being alone sucks, we've become adjusted to a life where we don't wait on girls and we just do whatever we want. Sure, the first couple months alone are depressing, but after a while, it's liberating.
I've been single since a month after my grandmother died. Sure, I've liked other girls, but I've learned what I need to be happy in life: family, friends, God, and a good book. At this point in my life, a relationship is optional. I've got so much I plan to do in my life, that I need a head start, and life is far too short to just hop from relationship to relationship. I've planned to life every day like it is my last and live without regret. I think that if a lot more people lived like this, we'd all be a little happier. I've got loads of stories to tell, and even more to write.
I'm done for now. In retrospect, that seemed like a post where I just rambled incoherently about nothing in particular. Story of my life I guess.
Check out this song, I discovered it yesterday
-The Same Thing We Do Every Night, Pinky by Broadway Featuring Craig Owens
With Peace and Love,
Sam
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Life After?
For the past couple of days, I've been pondering what happens on Earth after we pass. I don't know why, maybe it's too much of Alesana's The Emptiness. Maybe too much Call of Duty or Dante's Inferno? Who knows. Anyway. I'm not suicidal, I just wonder what happens here when we die. I mean, what kind of funeral would I have? Who would go? When I reach the Pearly Gates, will I be able to enter? If I do, am I able to look down upon my friends and family? I'm not afraid to die, I just feel like life is Act One. What happens after is Act Two. Act One is like the exposition of the story, Act Two is where things get interesting. My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way believes that in the hour of our death, our strongest memory comes back to us to help/carry/lead us on to the other side. If so, what would mine be? I'm too young at this point to know really. I think I want to die fast, just because I don't have a high pain tolerance, but again, I'm not afraid to die.
When someone we love passes, we are often conflicted. When my grandmother died after a ten year battle with cancer last year, I was angry, sad, lonely, but most of all relieved. Why relieved? I think because I knew she wasn't suffering anymore. But even to this day, I still think about her. The wake. The funeral. And I feel empty. That part of me is missing and I know I can't get it back. But I'm okay with that because I know The depths of a mans soul can not be measured in a manor of meters and fathoms; but rather, it is in my opinion, only quantified by his proximity to Heaven and Hell. I will see her someday again, in the clouds. I was asked what I would do if I found out I was going to die soon. This stopped me in my tracks because I never really thought about it. I guess I would do everything I've wanted to do and enjoy every last minute. This seems really depressing, but I think that slowly my mind is de-cluttering as I write this.
I'm going to leave you with two tracks
1- The Thespian- Alesana
2- Famous Last Words- My Chemical Romance
With Peace and Love,
Sam
Friday, January 22, 2010
Welcome
Welcome to An Ever Growing Wonder. My name is Sam and I will be your guide on this travel. What An Ever Growing Wonder is, quite simply, is me searching, reaching, seeking for something more. Think of it as a commentary to life. I'll ramble for a bit, then post a song title. The song probably sparked thought and I want to share it with you all. I hope you enjoy reading and will as The Used's marketing ploy Chadam would say, "Together we spread."
An Ever Growing Wonder- We Came as Romans
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